I used to wonder where the time has gone. Now, looking back on things time keeps on tickin’…it’s me that I should be more concerned about.
The better question is where have I gone?
Over the past few months I’ve been frustrated about how I’ve been feeling so unorganized and all over the place. In my late teens and all the way into my late 20′s, I was always disciplined, organized, and it seemed like everything always ran smoothly. Then one day, sometime after I delivered a healthy baby girl, my life went from organized to I’ll get to it “when I feel like it”. Everything became “when I feel like it”. I’m tired, exhausted, on the go, and my only down time is usually when I’m using bathroom, showering, or at work.
I definitely need to reclaim my Me Time! Or maybe it’s not even the Me Time that I’m missing. All of this (married, mom life, work life, etc)…it’s my new normal and it takes time to get adjusted to it. Yes, it’s been almost 6 years,…but you just have to walk in my shoes to understand what I’m going through. I ask myself, 6 years and you are still not adjusted? Everyday is different. But then again, everyday is the same. I know that Lord willing, I wake up, shower, pack lunches, wake and dress the little one, get the husband off to work, go to work, answer calls, go to meetings, return home, cook dinner, sing a million kids songs, listen to my daughter sing the Frozen song a million times, etc, etc, etc. In those moments, you are in the role of Wife, Mom, Doctor, Nurse, Teacher, Counselor, Chef, Gardener, Driver,…it never ends.
Maybe I should not look at where have I gone, but look in the mirror at who I am becoming. I’m still here, I haven’t lost myself. I am changing and growing everyday. I am being stretched and challenged into the person that I see. Maybe it’s just organized chaos! Marriage and Mom life will do that to you!